


i hear tales of old cathedrals (we were monsters we were heroes)

by Briereader



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Greek Mythology - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briereader/pseuds/Briereader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanoff is not Arachne.</p>
<p>(myths never die so long as they're told they simply restart over and over again and she’s forgotten the middle lives but she sure as hell remembers her First)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i hear tales of old cathedrals (we were monsters we were heroes)

Natasha Romanoff is not Arachne.

Arachne is the little redheaded girl in Russia a long time ago who did not weave on looms because it is dangerous to attract the attention of the gods. The little girl played with dolls instead, played with dolls and laughed and lived and - this little girl did not insult the gods, because she knew how that ended. This little girl was turned into a spider anyways.

Natasha Romanoff is the Black Widow, the monster.

(gods like to create heroes and they like to create monsters for the heroes to kill and she’s still waiting for her hero to come along because she’s tired of the cycle of being the spider)

The leader of the Red Room is King Minos (is always King Minos until Hydra becomes more important. Then he is Hydra, he is always Hydra), still in love with his monsters and destruction and labyrinths and - she wonders whether anyone else can remember their First Lives, the ones that led to all the rest.

(myths never die so long as they're told they simply restart over and over again and she’s forgotten the middle lives but she sure as hell remembers her First)

Captain America is supposedly long dead, buried in the ice at the end of Hydra, but she thinks he was a Hero once, that Steven Grant Rogers was mortal but Captain America was Hercules and he was given an impossible task and he chopped off the heads and he defeated his monster and he’ll rest now until his Spirit rises again. (They always rise, that’s what they do)

The Black Widow escapes King Minos and is still a monster.

Natasha meets her first god.

Clint Barton is an archer. Barton has bad taste in music and a smirk for a smile and he Sees her and he doesn’t take the shot and she waits for him to and he doesn’t take the shot. She stares up at him and Sees him and - he doesn’t take the shot.

Apollo takes her hand and takes her to meet Zeus.

Zeus has one eye. Zeus is bald. Zeus does not throw lightning bolts he shouts instead but he is Zeus all the same in his palace in the sky. Zeus’s name is Nick Fury and she learns to laugh at him behind his back. Zeus looks at her and dismisses her and turns to yell at Apollo.

There is a blank-faced man in Zeus’s shadow who clasps Apollo’s shoulder and looks at her and Sees her and leads her to a new home and a new purpose. His name is Phil Coulson. (She does not See him in return for a very long time.)

She meets Atalanta in Maria Hill and they stare each other down for a long moment before Maria smiles and Natasha smiles back. (The Black Widow is not used to not being hated.)

Time passes. Natasha gains friends, a partner, a purpose. The Black Widow is not hated.

Tony Stark is loud. Tony Stark is annoying. Tony Stark is hiding pain behind an iron mask. She watches him in his workshop and Sees Hephaestus's shadow and understands. (Hephaestus was tossed down from his home because his mother did not approve of him, Hephaestus has legs that don’t work right, Tony Stark had a father who never thought he was good enough, Tony Stark has a light in his chest that keeps him alive). Tony Stark does not hate her either.

Apollo is stolen by Python. Barton is stolen by Loki.

Bruce Banner was mortal, she thought, and the Hulk was the Nemean Lion. Then she meets him and he plays with her and she realizes the truth. Bruce Banner is Ares and the Hulk is Eris (one is restrained and the other is not and she doesn’t care what others say Banner is more dangerous than the Hulk in the end) and they See her but pretend they do not.

She meets Captain America when he wakes up. He is not Hercules. She does not know who he is.

Thor is Thor. He does not need a Spirit to complete him, he can be great on his own terms.

(she is beginning to realize that many people do not need a Spirit to complete them)

The Hulk comes after her but not just because she is Black Widow but because she is Natasha and Banner does not trust her and Eris has always listened to Ares and she survives and Barton is back and Coulson is dead and Loki is defeated.

Python is gone now. Only Loki remains. (maybe it was only ever Loki, but she has been so lost in the past recently that she can’t decide)

Hephaestus gets into trouble again, but he solves the problem and saves his love with his skillful hands and his incredible brain.  Pepper is saved in the end. (Pepper has no Spirit, she is like Thor. She needs no Spirit to be great, to be near perfect in every way) Natasha’ll never tell him this because he is Stark and Stark is annoying but she admires him for ending Killian by himself.

Natasha has never been able to solve her own problems.

Natasha gets to know Steve Rogers. She still does not know who he is, but she is learning that she does not need to know in order to become good friends with him.

Sam Wilson is - someone. She thinks he is Orpheus, forever mourning a lost love. Wilson talks to people in the VA and helps heal others of the pain he has learned to live with. Wilson is not a threat. Steve Rogers becomes friends with Wilson and she thinks that it will be beneficial for both of them.

The Black Widow remembers the Winter Soldier. (he is Medusa, turned into a weapon for circumstances beyond his control. No one remembers the name of the girl raped in Athena’s temple by Poseidon. Everyone knows the monster Athena turned her into in exchange) The Winter Soldier does not remember the Black Widow. She thinks it is better that way.

The Winter Soldier tries to kill Fury, to kill Zeus. She does not blame him for it.

Sam Wilson is not Orpheus. Sam Wilson is the Falcon, is Icarus with his wings more firmly grafted to his back, with metal instead of wax and feathers, with a happy ending. Sam Wilson gets his wings back and flies. It is beautiful to watch.

The Winter Soldier has a name - Medusa’s name is remembered from before. The Winter Soldier is James Buchanan Barnes. Captain America is Perseus, sent to destroy Medusa. Captain America will not destroy Medusa, because he remembers whom Medusa used to be. (the nameless girl gains a name in the end) Hydra is out in the open, in the end. There are no more secrets in SHIELD. The only secret the Black Widow has left is Arachne.

Medusa will not kill Perseus in the end, just as Perseus will not kill Medusa. There will be no head in the center of Captain America’s shield. Some monsters have a chance at becoming who they used to be. The Black Widow is not one of them. Arachne is too far gone.

They get back Loki’s scepter and meet two others. (no one ever speaks of First Lives because they do not want to have to change anything) Hermes darts everywhere in blue-grey streaks of light. Medea casts spells with blood red hands and eyes. They do not remember their First Lives. They have forgotten. It will be kinder to never remind them.

Ultron is Talos reborn. Ultron is Hephaestus's creation. Some blame Stark for creating a monster. Natasha does not. (the Black Widow is not in love with Ares, here. Natasha is not in love with Bruce. It is too dangerous for her to love. Apollo has no wife, has no children. Apollo has a farm, but it is empty)

Ultron dies, Hermes dies. And Hades raises Quicksilver from the dead.

Coulson walks into the room, Pietro behind him, and she finally Sees him. She punches Coulson in the face and Hades shakes off the pain and smiles at her. He never smiled before. Apollo takes one look and leaves the room, hands clenched at his sides. Natasha lets him go, Coulson lets him go - Barton will return, Apollo will always return (until he doesn’t, but they both hope that will be a long time coming)

(She is forgetting the distinction in names for her teammates, uses First and Now in her head indiscriminately. She wonders what that says about herself, about long-gone Arachne)

Bucky Barnes returns, and Medusa will always be a part of him but he’s with Steve and Perseus loves him and Bucky loves him back so Medusa is slowly fading away. Medusa is not necessary anymore. He has escaped King Minos, has done so more thoroughly than she ever did. The labyrinth of her own mind still haunts her.

Hades brings Persephone to them. Daisy is not his lover this time, she is his daughter, and the Underworld is a statue of stone she managed to escape on her own. Without Hades she would not have been dragged into the Underworld would not have bullet wound scars but he is not the reason she is changed forever and she does not blame him for it. Their story has changed. Hades is in love with someone else this time around. Persephone watches Bucky and Natasha with knowledge in her eyes and the Black Widow realizes that being a monster is a type of cage, too. Perhaps she has escaped.

Her world spins on, and she is learning to be happy. (her lips quirk up in a smile when Clint introduces her to Kate Bishop, Hawkeye, Artemis) And then -

Thor’s girlfriend, Jane Foster, is mortal. Jane Foster is a brilliant mortal, but mortal all the same. Jane Foster is moving into the tower, and Natasha and Bucky and Steve are waiting to greet her.

Darcy Lewis, Jane’s pseudo-intern, is not mortal.

Darcy Lewis has always been drawn to the pursuit of knowledge, had been the only applicant for Jane’s internship, had never really needed those science credits, repairs complicated machines with duct tape and rubber bands.

Darcy Lewis has a small bird tattoo on her neck, reminder of a nephew pushed off a tower by the cleverest man in the world. Of Perdix pushed by Daedalus.

Darcy Lewis walks into the lab and Sees them and - and -, and nothing. Darcy Lewis walks into the lab, not Daedalus. Natasha is finally beginning to understand.

“Darcy,” she says, and then “can I have your guys autographs? I keep trying to tell my old friend that I’m actual-fact moving into Avengers tower and she keeps saying I’m lying to her which - really? Why would I lie about that? Well, besides the total awesomeness factor, but-”

Darcy Lewis is not Daedalus anymore, she is Darcy Lewis. Bucky Barnes is not Medusa anymore, he is Bucky Barnes. Steve Rogers is not Perseus, he is Steve Rogers. _Natasha Romanoff is not -_

Their First Lives lost their hold on them a long time ago, and -

And she’s the last to realize this, isn’t she; because it all began when Apollo chose to hold out his hand, to not take the shot, oh so long ago, and -

“Come on, Jane! I found the lab!” Darcy yells over her shoulder as Natasha smiles slowly and leaves the room, as Thor’s footsteps begin to echo down the hall. She is finally free from the labyrinth of her own mind and their First Lives.

Arachne no longer exists.

The Black Widow is a title, not who she is.

Her name is Natasha. And she has a new life to lead.


End file.
